30 Days of things That Scare Me-Day 2

So it turns out much of what scares me is...change. Altering my pattern, adjusting my routine in any way causes stress. And that's why I work in ecommerce-because that's SO stable. Apparently I crave change while it scares the shit out of me at the same time. Interesting.

Pretty close to how I usually feel.

So what did I do yesterday? (Punctuality is not my strong point-working on that another day). I signed up for the gym, but went to one in a different neighborhood, fairly far from where I live. For me, this is important on two fronts:

1) I have the directional skills of a gnat. Actually, theirs might be better. I've gotten lost in Central Park. Which is a loop. Yup.
2) Leaving the comfort zone of my neighborhood and going even slightly off track-not something I EVER do.

So I was in a neighborhood (granted, not far from my office) but I didn't see a single person I knew. And somehow, that was ok. I didn't melt.

And 2nd: I actually followed an author (Let's Pretend This Never Happened) and she FOLLOWED ME BACK on Twitter. I guess I'm even afraid of rejection on the interwebz. Hmm.

I think my "project" for Day 3 might involve a bit more humility.

30 Days of things that scare me...

Doesn't this sound like something that should be in an Eat Pray Love kind of book? Possibly. I saw an acquaintance start something like this about a week ago and I realized in it's simplicity how awesome it really is:

Stepping out of the comfort zone. I mean really, how hard could that be?

Um, yeah. Not so easy as it turns out. It's not necessarily the big changes that are scary-those either come at you like a freight train or you can thoughtfully prepare for them. There's a certain amount of intensity/force that's almost easier to reckon with.

I'm talking about the little things-you know, the small things that add up to keep you where you are except you only have a flicker of realization. Then quickly, it passes and you're back in your comfortable (if not healthy) groove.


So here's my start:

Day 1
Quit book club.
I KNOW. Right? For me, quitting ANYTHING (boyfriends, a sports team), causes a fair amount of anxiety. Quitting to me, leaving means failure, a certain amount of you screwed up-ness. I liked book club when I started, really really enjoyed meeting with other women and getting exposed to certain books I would never have otherwise read. However...it changed, becoming more structured and less of what I wanted/needed in a book club. Leaving it to me meant leaving behind some of the people I had started to get to know and actually quite liked. That makes me sad.

Now, hold that thought. I almost NEVER WENT. Sanity check? I'm missing the potential of what I wanted to get out of book club rather than what I did get. So, I'm missing what I didn't actually get. Hmmmm. I didn't go because I didn't want to, but more because of life/work/schedule wasn't working for me. And you know what? THAT'S FINE.  I'm still having some anxiety (shhh, with the judging!) over not having that "possibility" anymore, but it will all be OK. It's New York. There are other book clubs.

Right.

Right??

Carry on...

It's all downhill from here!

Ascutney, Vermont

What better way to start a blog post than with 1) that title and 2) a picture of me hugging the dreaded "low gear" sign? (complete with % grade, if you'll notice). 

By profession, I am a writer.  While by day this usually means writing copy designed to entice you to buy, for me it also means that writing is the most comfortable place/way for me to express myself.  That means, the scary, the bad and the ugly. For me-that means downhills. I loathe them. I literally freeze on them. I relax on the UPhill.  I know-it's weird. I'm calm, fairly confident and as my bike coach (more on that later) says I have a 'big engine' which means I SHOULD be able to fly on the bike. Should. But don't. Not yet anyway.

This year is IM #2 (yes, I actually completed 1).  Although the actual IM race-Arizona, is flat, most of the training and 2 1/2 Iron's that I will be doing are not. So, this brings up the eternal question-how do I conquer this fear?  Finally, FINALLY,  I've decided to hit it from all sides.  I hate hate HATE being afraid.  It's the most exhausting, frustrating, agonizing thing I've ever experienced.  It's humiliating, embarrassing-it makes me never want to get on a bike again and wish I hadn't ever-so no one would ever know. Unfortunately, my entire team knows. Every season, no matter how new the people are, they will pass me on the bike.  I've almost come to accept it and that is the part I can no longer allow.  I'm doing an Ironman, dammit. It is a place for which complacency has NO place.  I may never fly down a descent, but I will not let 2011 or this Ironman pass without knowing that I gave it everything and more; went down every avenue, tried every single thing. I will beat this.

Chronicle of a IM journey

From the beginning, I have not been comfortable 1) speaking on camera 2) speaking in front of large groups or 3) cycling downhill. ANY downhill. Here I'll chart my progress during this IM 2011 season.  Mostly for me, but if anyone else cares to view it, feel free!

Ryan's Girls-Help Save A Life

The Courage To Change (re-posted from a good friend)
One of the most difficult aspects of Eating Disorder Recovery is asking for help.... She did, and I know that we can give it to her.
A true emergency.... a medically compromised and quickly deteriorating young woman needs our help to get the treatment she needs. The discrepancy between what her insurance will pay and her copay is unmanageable for her, and she needs HELP. We need to raise approximately $2000 ASAP in order for her to start treatment.... While this might seem like a lot.... the reality is that with several small donations we CAN do this. Please pass the message along to anyone and everyone you know. As the money needs to be raised quickly. Perhaps sacrifice a few visits to Starbucks or the movies and PLEASE give our friend a second chance at life in the same way mine did for me. Please be as generous as you can be.... but no amount is too small.
For more information about Eating Disorders, visit: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

Stuffitts Review! Have my stinky sneakers found respite at last?

STINKY FEET. SMELLY SHOES.
Yes, those are my nicknames along with "Michele the Gazelle." Not nearly as 'cool', but there it is.  In fact my sneakers used to smell SO badly in college that my roommates used to 'lock' them in the bathroom so as to minimize their offensiveness!

Flash forward a few years...one of my apt. roommates bought me baking powder to sprinkle in my shoes because...you guessed it!  They stunk.  I too, noticed a pattern.  Unfortunately at that point there weren't a lot of options aside from shoving newspapers into my shoes.  This is a great trick which actually DOES help dry them out but unfortunately doesn't eliminate the stink! Plus, being in the digital age I don't always happen to have newspapers laying around to stuff in my shoes. Ok, ok and I'm being a dork. The newspapers SMELLED after I took them out. Ew.

Well, enter a good friendship I've developed with fellow triathlete/runner IronBrandon (who is getting ready for IM Louisville!).  Brandon was offering a random contest featuring a pair of Stuffitts as the prize.  Knowing my boyfriend would indeed love my sneakers to be less smelly during triathlon training, I entered the contest.  Lo and behold, I won!  After a very very speedy e-mail exchange and just a few days later, my red Stuffitts arrived!

Visual Impression:
When I first saw them, I admit.  I was a little doubtful.  My stinky feet/shoes are legendary.  The Stuffits looked pretty harmless, they were even soft!  And yes, they are red. I like red.




Practical Impression:

Another thing I noticed is that the zipper on the side meant you could remove the fabric cover and wash them!  I was a bit relieved when I saw this because unlike the insoles that I have in my running shoes (which have no way of being really washed) Stuffitts would be easy to clean. To be sure, I removed the entire cover and put the cedar core back in.  Ok, that was easy.

Practical Impression #2. 
The 100% eastern red cedar core was NOT overwhelming.  It's slightly woodsy, but the nice kind that makes you think of long trail runs and hiking.  No chemical intensity or super-powerful smell (unlike the foot sprays you get in your local drug store). 

Practical Impression #3
They FIT inside my shoe.  This might seem obvious, but Stuffitts have to be able to fit into the contour of many shoes and the fit in quite easily even with my insole inserts. 

The Test
My Newtons are a little...beat up.  Training for a 1/2 Ironman puts some serious time into them. They're my only pair of running shoes (bad Michele, I know!) But since they are and I wouldn't dare throw them into a washing machine for fear of warping and distortion, I thought that these would be a great testing 'ground' for Stuffitts.   If Stuffitts could work on these bad boys, then they'll most likely work on any shoe!

12-mile run later, I cast off my shoes (much to the chagrin of my nose-wrinkling boyfriend) and pop the Stuffitts right in.

The next morning: Well, since people don't normally WANT  to sniff their sneakers up close I really wasn't a fan of this part!  And....nothing. No stink!  Normally I don't say "honey, SMELL MY SHOES" But I did.

Verdict:
Do my shoes smell brand new?  Well, no. I've run many MANY miles in them. However, they smell a heck of a lot better than they did before!  Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives and family remembers rejoice.  Stuffitts are one stocking stuffer you'll want to include for your athlete.

Dating A Triathlete

I saw this a couple of years ago in an e-mail thread and it's making the rounds again, so I thought I'd share!

Dating a Triathlete
"I am an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If its raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and youre just a big wuss for complaining about it.

"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then youre not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.

"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Lets run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.

"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000+ calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way youre going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.

"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.
"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.

"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.
"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York, but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.

"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get our HR's up to 90%. There's plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.

"I like stimulating conversation."I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next.

"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.

"I'm into in technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training, don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player.